In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
