Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize