She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
