i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
