you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
