he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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