Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
