I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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