1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize