Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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