Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
