like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
