I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize