just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize