I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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