I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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