But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
