kristin has been a bad kristin
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
