I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
