need another drink. this is the easiest way
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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