that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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