You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
