yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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