Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
