i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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