garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
