I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
