Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
