I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
