I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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