Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
