Dual....:-)
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize