Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize