my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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