I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
