Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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