so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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