we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
