But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
