i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
