so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
