i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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