Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
