I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize