the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
