You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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