just come out here and I will go home with you...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He shit in the fireplace
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
