I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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