I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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