Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
