I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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