Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
