that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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