So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
