we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
