On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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