I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
