i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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