Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
