my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize