I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
