thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
