the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize