at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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