A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
