used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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